Daniel Rock: 0:05

Welcome to

Melodie: 0:06

Okay.

Daniel Rock: 0:23

She has a lovely partner and two cats and she tells me she would have more, but her landlord has two as a maximum in her contract. she loves traveling, reading, traveling. Building Lego, watching TV shows, exploring the Auckland region with walks and buying more quirky lamps and handbags than she can store. Welcome Melody. And I hope I didn't butcher your last name too much. My French is a little out of date. Um, don't you tell us a little bit about your journey and sort of how you ended up in New Zealand?

Melodie: 0:52

Thanks, Daniel. Um, yes. Um, so I've literally, it was a very random way that I ended up in New Zealand. Um, when I started back in the UK, um, I had a good friend called, um, Alvin and we sort of kept in touch, like, Very sporadically, like, you know, and it's part of those people that you might not talk to them for years but then you run into them and it's like you've never, um, left each other. And, um, I was sending him like a Happy New Year sort of message and then he just sort of reached out and was like, two months later, like, Oh, Happy New Year! And I'm like, okay, and he was like, Oh, I'm in New Zealand. It's amazing. Like, I'm doing a working holiday visa. Like, you should totally come. And I was, I was going through my crisis of 25 of like, you know, what am I doing with my life? This is not what I thought it would be and all that. And, um, pretty much just thought like, yeah, actually I totally should, I should just go to New Zealand. So I started like thinking about it and he was like, Oh, when you want to, when you've got like a French passport, it's really easy. Like you can do it online. And so I did that. It took me like four days or something. And then bam, I just had a working holiday visit. I was like, wow, this is crazy

Daniel Rock: 2:12

Yeah, I think New Zealand bureaucracy certainly a few years ago is a little different. I remember when I did my work and all that visa and I sent the application form in and forgot to put the passport in the envelope. And I can imagine if, like, the British or the American embassies got that, they'd just be, like, sending it back. I got a phone call from the guy at the New Zealand embassy in Haymarket or Consulate, as it was, Hey, can you pop down and bring your passport so I can put the stamp in it? I can't imagine many other countries handling it that way.

Melodie: 2:37

goodness. No, yeah, it was, um, it's pretty, yeah, pretty chill back then. And then, yeah, so I just sort of like decided, okay, let's do this. And I thought, okay, I'll. I was doing like a lot of inter, I had like been doing internship for two and a half years in different places. It was just going nowhere. Um, but the current bosses I have back then, they were really cool. And I've sort of tell them, this is what I want to do. And they're like, right. And this sort of adapted like my contract. Um, they even told me like, Oh, you know, if you want to still work remote for us to like help you settle, like that was very lovely. Um, I just tell my parents, obviously, I mean, I was, um, I had moved to live back with them and. I'd always remember because my mom said she was like, she's like, oh, that's very exciting. But like, she was a bit sad and I was like, oh, what's going on? And she was like, well, you're going to meet a Kiwi. You're going to get married. You're going to have a baby. I'm never going to see you again. I'm 25 thinking like, you know, just going on a holiday.

Daniel Rock: 3:39

Yeah.

Melodie: 3:41

I'll be back. And here I am nine years later, still in New Zealand. So I guess she's not, not too wrong. Um,

Daniel Rock: 3:50

It

Melodie: 3:50

yeah.

Daniel Rock: 3:51

that way with people. I've meant to go for a year and end up there for 20, nearly 23. So yeah, I think

Melodie: 3:57

It definitely feels that way.

Daniel Rock: 4:00

So

Melodie: 4:00

A lot of friends. That's what I heard.

Daniel Rock: 4:03

see you are French, but grew up in Switzerland. Tell me a little bit sort of about your, that background as well.

Melodie: 4:09

Yeah. So, um, both my parents are French, so that just makes me French. Um, and then, um, but I was. They both sort of lived, um, and worked close to Geneva and, um, I was born there and, um, but Switzerland is not a country where if you're born there, you automatically like, um, got the nationality. It's more, it's a bit more complex. You either marry a Swiss or you have to have, um, your parents to be Swiss or to have been born in Switzerland and back then it might have changed but back then it was like you had to when you reached 13 years um of after you being born there and having lived there this whole time you could apply to become Swiss um Which I didn't really know back then, I didn't really care, to be honest. Um, because it didn't really affect me in any way. Um, but then like, when I was 16, my mum was like, Oh, you should probably do it. Like, it'd be good, you know, for you to have like, the, the Swiss passport. And I, I already felt Swiss as well. Like, because I've been, that's the way I've always been. Um, grew up. So yeah, I had to do that, which was quite the adventure in itself. Um, back then they really checked, like, if you were, I guess, integrated, like, you know, did you have friends? Like, did you, um, as a 16 year old, I guess as an adult, it would be a very different sort of approach, but that's what they keyed. And then they'd ask you a question. I remember we had to go to like the police station. Um, and they had some questions as well, which was so random. And I remember the policeman was, he was quite something. And he was like, he asked me like, Oh, why is there like, um, like a different part of Switzerland, like, why is there like their flag or whatever on this castle? And I'm like, I have no idea because despite being like living in Switzerland stuff, I've actually went to, um, a French school. So I was in the French school system.

Daniel Rock: 6:05

Okay,

Melodie: 6:06

so I wasn't learning about like, um, Switzerland's like history or anything. Cause I was doing the French one, um, which they weren't a fan of.

Daniel Rock: 6:15

so did you cross the border each day to go to France to school or was

Melodie: 6:19

Oh, so it was a French school in, yeah, in, in Geneva. Um, Geneva is quite like an, um, international city. Like it's got like the UN and all those different things. So it's actually got like a lot of, um, like a few international schools and stuff, and there was this, yeah, the school that was like, I said French school, but it was like, they were doing the, the French school system. So for you to get your French baccalaureate at the end, um, But they also did like the equivalent in Switzerland, which is the maturity. So you could choose. Um, but my parents were like, well, you, you're French. Like you should learn, you know, French history. And also back then, like having a French baccalaureate would open like doors to like university, cause it was sort of recognized, whereas the Swiss equivalent wasn't quite. There yet or sometimes like, for example, if I wanted to come to New Zealand on my Swiss passport, it would have been a whole lot more complicated. Um, which I thought was quite weird. I was like, okay.

Daniel Rock: 7:20

because Switzerland's not generally part of most kind of treaties or agreements because it's, it's so independent. So you wouldn't have that reciprocal

Melodie: 7:28

Yes.

Daniel Rock: 7:29

that a lot of other countries would have.

Melodie: 7:31

Exactly. Exactly. So it was like, it was interesting. So yeah, so that's sort of how I, um, Ended up becoming Swiss. Then, um, yeah, moved to New Zealand. And then, um, so my friend, I moved in with my, my friend who was, um, staying near, um, which was really cool for a bit. And then he was also doing his, um, residency. So he was telling me all about that. And then I think I did like, I like, I went to like a work visa after the working holiday in the, which was never a holiday. It just was work. It just turned into work. Cause I also had the brilliant idea of coming here in the middle of winter because my dumb ass didn't think about the difference.

Daniel Rock: 8:15

from winter to winter rather than from, yeah, because

Melodie: 8:19

Yes. I was like, Oh yeah, let's go on a holiday.

Daniel Rock: 8:22

or two winters in a row.

Melodie: 8:25

Yeah, I really didn't think that through. I was like, Oh my God, like, I was like, well, I'm definitely not going to go and explore stuff right now. It's not the beast sort of time. So I ended up into like, yeah, like a job and then a job and stuff. And then did some, yeah, work visa. And eventually I was like, let's just do like, yeah, like, uh, My residency as well. Cause I was like, I might as well. Right. Cause it's just, I didn't like the idea of like me being able to stay in New Zealand was related to my job because I was like, if you know, anything goes wrong, like it's just, it's not great. So, and eventually I ended with, um, just going through the whole, like, let's do in citizenship. So here I am,

Daniel Rock: 9:07

So you have the three, so you've got

Melodie: 9:09

I've got three passports now. Yeah. I'm like, what is this? I'm collecting them now. I think that's enough. Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel Rock: 9:20

have rules around, and New Zealand doesn't care, but so Switzerland and France don't care that you have other passports either.

Melodie: 9:30

It's interesting. That's something that comes up a lot because, um, absolutely like certain countries, they really not keen on you have like, they don't let you. It's like, you have to give up your citizenship to take another one. Um, And I remember being really worried about that when I was doing the whole like Swiss passport because I was like, well, I don't want to lose the French one. Like it's quite handy to have both, but like, no, they did not care. Um, it's like, it's fine. And I've been using like, interestingly, depending where I'd go, I'd choose a passport or the other. Cause it's like. Yeah, depending where you go, sometimes one country has beef with them and you're like, okay, I'm this nationality now, but it's been like, um, they've been quite similar, but like, um, I guess because the French one was part of the European union, so it was quite good for certain things though, to be fair, Switzerland has like sort of, when you travel around Europe, there's always like, you know, European union passport. Plus Western, plus Norway, So it's usually like, it's fine but yeah.

Daniel Rock: 10:37

when the UK dropped out cause I've got a UK and New Zealand

Melodie: 10:40

Oh yeah.

Daniel Rock: 10:41

lost that obviously when the UK dropped out of the EU. I don't get to go through the fast checks anymore. Um, which is interesting. you

Melodie: 10:49

Oh

Daniel Rock: 10:49

studied in the UK. How did you make that decision to go from doing the French school system to go and study in the UK? And I'm assuming that was for your university degree.

Melodie: 11:00

yes, absolutely. I was, I was like, you know when you reach that age and you're like, okay, so I'm gonna be 18, I'm gonna finish school, what am I gonna do? And I'm like, why do we have to choose our entire life at this age? It feels so crazy because I'm like, I know nothing. Like, I don't know. I know roughly what I like and what I don't like based off likes. stuff at school, like, okay, I'm really not good at like chemistry. So definitely not going to go down that way. Um, I like languages. Okay. But like, yeah. And I remember being like, I don't really know what I want to do. And I had a really, um. Lovely English teacher and, um, she would, she would always like, Oh, like, you know, they've got like really good university in the UK. Like, um, you should check it out and stuff. And I guess I was looking around like, um, I was looking at France. I was looking at like different sort of countries around and what's, what's new. To offer, um, I look at the U S but I was like, I can't afford that. Um, I was like, it's just like, it's just not, not planned for that. And then, yeah, I looked at the UK and I was like, actually, I, I always, um, I always really loved, I guess the culture and everything. And I was like, Oh, wouldn't that be nice to sort of continue and do something. And I thought, well, I've learned English since I was like, um, four. Cause, um, my mom worked in them. In a job where it was like, um, bilingual. And so she was always like, it's super important for you to learn English, which I'm like, so thankful for now because I'm like, yeah, that just made it so much easier. And like, I remember thinking like, well, that would be a really great way to really take it to the next level and just like, yeah, do all that stuff. So I was like, okay. I'll just go and I looked and I remember there was like this whole system. It was like, Oh, you cast or something. I can't remember like exactly, but it's like this whole system you have to apply. And I was like, Oh, this looks so complex. But like this English teacher was so amazing. She really like helped me out. And like, we went in, um, did we go and visit? No, I think we just went and visit like one of them or something, but like, I had like five in there and I was like, okay, I'll just apply and stuff. And it was really based on like the courses they had, not really the location. Cause I really didn't care where I was ending up. It was more like, what do you have to offer? And I was looking at like doing communications cause, um. It was wide enough that I felt like I'll find something in there that I'll like eventually. And so I ended up going to, um, Oxford Brookes, um,

Daniel Rock: 13:40

Yep.

Melodie: 13:41

which was like such a fun university and, um, really like, it was like a cool, it was like, what is it called? Like communication, media, and culture. Anyway, it was a bit of everything. It was just like, sort of, yeah, getting you into that. So I was like, okay, I'll do like a bachelor there. And that was like three years then I really, really loved it. Like that was such a, such a cool place. Um, And then after that, I was like, okay, I want to, um, I've sort of touched a bit on everything, but I really like, um, advertising and I was like, I'd really like to, to go deeper into this. And so, um, I found like, um, a master that was in, um, Edinburgh and I was like, oh my God, I mean. I was really biased because I really liked Edinburgh, like, already, so I was like, okay, I'm so keen to go. Um, and they had like this master, it was like called creative advertising, and it was pretty much teaching you around like, um, to be like a copywriter or like a designer and sort of like everything in between. And that was like, that was just one year. But it was so good and I really loved it. I think what made it extra special is that you had people from all over. So you had like people from obviously Edinburgh, um, Glasgow, and then you had like, um, a few people from Greece. We had some people from, um, Lithuania. Um, Um, um, we had one girl from America and one from Germany. Like it was a really like, sort of, um, like mixed group and it just made it really, really cool. And it was like all sorts of skills. Cause we were all that sort of different level. Like for me, I had, I knew nothing about like designing. So I was like, what is in design? How do I do all this? We had people who've been doing this forever. Um, but it was like, it was so much fun. So yeah, I would have totally stayed in the UK to be honest. Like, I loved it so much there, but every sort of internship that I found after was like non paid. And I'm like, well, I don't have family here, so I can't really just live at my parents and do this job for free. So yeah, so that's why I went back to Switzerland after, but I think I would have totally, if I had an opportunity, that probably would have been a place I would have ended up calling home for a long time.

Daniel Rock: 16:06

So touching on that, obviously you grew up in Switzerland, you spent three years in the UK now you've spent nine in New Zealand. Is there one place that feels more like home? Is there a place that calls home to you? How does that kind of, I'm always interested to hear that from people who lived in multiple places and perhaps live away from their family as well. So kind of what I suppose the first question for that is kind of feels the most home to you?

Melodie: 16:36

It's It's still like Switzerland, and like my parents house, and being with them there, I guess that's Because I spend the most time there. But also I guess it's like the childhood home, like, cause we moved into that house when I was four. So I've literally like, and they're still in the same house. So it's like, it's always been that sort of like one place. And I have like, I think also so many like memories and like good times and all that. Then it really feels like this is home. And like when people like, you know, when I travel back to visit or whatever, I'm always like, I'm going home. Like, it's like, you know, it's. It's really like, it really feels like the ultimate sort of, um, home place. Um, I think the UK was like, it definitely was my home for, for, um, for quite a bit, but it's always going to be like the one that could have been, I know it sounds really weird, but it's like, I connection to it. Well, every time we've traveled back, um, because of my partner, his brother lived in the UK for a bit, so we also went and visited and stuff like that. And I always, every time I go back, I'm like, ah, I could totally live here. Like this, there's always a part of it that feels like home, um, in that way. And then I think New Zealand for me is like, it's the, the new home that I'm making for myself, um, with my, with my partner. Um, but it feels like home in a, in a different way. Um, it's like, this is where I am right now. And this is where I am. Like, yeah, where I live, where I work, and all that. But it doesn't feel to the same sort of level of back home in Switzerland. I don't know how to explain it.

Daniel Rock: 18:26

No, I do get that. Do you think that is something that would change over time? Or do you think that Switzerland will always have that poor?

Melodie: 18:38

I think it always gonna, it's always gonna have that sort of like, yeah, that sort of vibe. To be fair though, like my parents were thinking of selling the house, um, at one point and I was like, cause I was like, oh my God, it's like, I don't know, I never imagined it sounds so silly to say that, but I was like, I never imagined they would ever sell the house and move away. And I was like, wow, that is totally a possibility. And it felt like I was like, oh my God, no, like I can't. I can't not like, I was like, it'd be so weird for me to go back home and not be in the house because to me, I was like, it is part of home. So maybe when this happens, it would feel different. And I'll be like, Oh, it's not quite home anymore. It's not the same vibe. Yeah.

Daniel Rock: 19:23

can actually empathize with that because I remember my parents have the same house from when I was probably about 10 years old until I left for New Zealand. So I was 22 23 and then a fair few years after I left. And I remember the first time I went back to visit After they sold that house and it does, it did feel not in a negative way in any way, but a little bit like that safety net was removed because your

Melodie: 19:50

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Uh,

Daniel Rock: 19:58

in England. They went from Freud and to Dover or just outside of Dover so totally different. And so there was no familiarity. When I went back there, it was all new, like nothing was the same. So, and I think there is that, you know, home, you know, and it's just something that's come up in a few of these. Now that home is as much it's people, but it's also comfort, you know, and familiarity, I think. And I think that when that familiarity goes. And especially now my parents don't live in the UK. The UK of all the places I live now feels the least like home in terms of where I'd want to be, but it will always be home because that's where I was born. That's where I grew up. I still support, you know, I say this on every episode is I still support the English football team. I still support Chelsea. I support the English cricket team. I still have that feeling of home and I don't think that will ever change. But it doesn't have any pool for me anymore. Like I can't imagine ever going back to live there because my parents aren't there. My childhood home isn't there, you know, whole, and it's been a really long time. It's been 23, 24 years since I've lived there. So that kind of familiar pool has gone. Could you see ever moving back to live in Switzerland or do you feel like New Zealand is now home for the obviously home for the foreseeable? Is there that pool to go home?

Melodie: 21:27

Not, not really. I've realized, I guess after moving here, I've realized something. I mean, I've always, I've been very lucky in that my parents love traveling and we've always traveled a lot. And so, yeah. And I loved like discovering new countries, new culture and all that. Like it's really, it's so much fun. Um, but then obviously like traveling and living somewhere is quite different.

Daniel Rock: 21:51

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Melodie: 22:05

And I have friends who ask me, it's like, Oh, you know, like, um, that friend, like, um, Albin who, Um, made me move here eventually, he ended up leaving and going back, um, home. Um, and he was, he's always asking, he's like, Oh, like, do you know, like, are you, are you going to stay? And I'm like, well, for now I'm quite happy here. So it kind of makes sense, but yeah, I don't know if I would go back to Switzerland to be fair, like, um, I do love it and I still have very good friends, um, that from, you know, Back at school that I'm still in touch that we have a little group chat that we just talk every day. And it's like, you know, we're still like very close and stuff. So I would love to be closer to them so I could see them in person and stuff. But then I'm also like, I don't know if, I don't know if there would be like jobs for me there. Like, I remember really struggling back then because, um, a big part of like being in Switzerland and it's like four languages in that country. That just makes it really hard. Is this sort of expect you to always have German, which I did at school. So I was as a third language and I was like, yeah, but like I, I left. And I've never practiced my gen mood since I was 18. So I'm like, it is sort of long gone, right? There's like little residue somewhere in my brain, but I'm like, let's be real. It wouldn't be easy. And I'm like, there's a bit of part of me that's like, Oh, I don't even know if I could, you know, go back into this. And I don't know, there's a part of me as well. When I go back home, I love it now, but as a holiday place and I'm like, I don't know if I would feel like I want to live there. Like, um, Yeah, it's hard. I guess it's like, it's, I guess I see like both good sides on here and there, and there's different things that sort of appeal, like, um, I feel like potentially, but I'm also like now after living here, I've also realized that I quite like moving around as well. So I'm like, who knows? Maybe I'll find another country that I'll end up living in. It's like, I don't know. Um, I'm not, I'm really not fussy. Um, I guess the language probably would be a barrier for me if, you know, if I'd have to go somewhere else, because now I'm too lazy to learn a new language. Like, I'm like, my brain can barely handle the two languages that I'm asking.

Daniel Rock: 24:36

of most people. The fact that you speak English and French is still a long way ahead of most

Melodie: 24:41

Oh,

Daniel Rock: 24:41

Thank you.

Melodie: 24:42

don't even feel like I speak any of them like, well anymore, you know, like it's like, it's like a whole mumble of both languages now and it's like, what happened? But yeah, it's um, so I think there's that, but I, I, I completely relate to what you said about like the, the, the, the safety place, because I think that is definitely what's happening with that. Um, house and like being like, this is the place, this is like, um, the memory, like even like I've been, I found myself being nostalgic recently because, um, when I was a kid, I used to go, um, and stay with my great aunt and great uncle. And they had like a house in the middle of nowhere in the countryside in France. And I spent some really lovely summer there. And it's like, it was really lost, but I. I also live back in a village back home. So I like being in the, um, in the middle of nowhere. That's like my thing. I was like, I love it. But it was like, I just thought about it the other day and I sent my mom a text and I was like, can you like send me the address of this place? I want to go on Google map. I was like, I want to have a look at it again. Like, I was like, I'm starting like feeling nostalgic because it was like, again, it was that home, like the, What they made it to be that it was this very like, um, tight, um, like no care in the world, like everyone walking around, like bare feet, like, you know, we're playing in the garden. It had this really family vibe, like summer, like having like laughters and stuff. And I was like, I guess this is what is also making home for me. It's that sort of like, um, yeah, those feelings attached to the place.

Daniel Rock: 26:17

So would you say that's what makes something home for you more? It's the emotion and the feeling of it rather than the physicality.

Melodie: 26:25

I think so. Yes. I think like right now, I'm like, um, so we're renting where we are cause, um, Paying a house in New Zealand is like,

Daniel Rock: 26:35

Auckland is for those people who aren't from New Zealand listening to this. Auckland prices are insane. It's incredibly unaffordable.

Melodie: 26:44

ridiculous. Or it's like, like so much money for like a really shitty looking house and you're like, I don't want to spend that much on that. Like what? Yeah. It's just, it's not something I really consider. I'd love. I mean, that would be the dream is like, To find your own place, to be able to afford your own place, to make it your home, to be able to do what you want with it. I'm very lucky that we have like absolutely adorable landlords, which makes, um, makes it easier. And like, we've really made this house, cause now we've been in this house for like, what, seven years or something. Like it's been a while. So we really like.

Daniel Rock: 27:20

for a rental, which is impressive for a rental.

Melodie: 27:23

it's, it's honestly, it's been great. It's like, we have like no complaint, it's like really well located and we've been, um, yeah, we've been really happy with it. We've made it like sort of to the levels that we keen, obviously when you're renting, but it's like, I guess that's the thing I'm like, maybe what would make it even more home would be that if I, it was my own home and I could really go like, um, harder at making it that way. But yeah. But, um, to be fair, it does feel really like home to me here because I'm like, it's been so many years. Like we've got a, like we went, we spent lockdown in here as well. So we were like, you know, it's like, Oh my God, we spend so much time stuck in this house, but I'm someone that also likes to stay at home. So for me, I was like, I don't mind it. This was great. But yeah. Yes.

Daniel Rock: 28:14

and there's a cultural thing. I think Anglo countries, New Zealand, the UK, the U S home ownership is a key. Big thing, right? That is what you do. And I know speaking to people from France, people from Germany, it's less of a thing. People still own, but renting for life is much more for a thing in other European countries than it is here. But I always kind of think of it as like a potted plant versus a tree. Like when you're renting, even if it's a big pot, you're still a potted plant. You can't quite get your roots into the ground

Melodie: 28:42

Yes.

Daniel Rock: 28:42

can be moved at any time. Whereas own, you have that ability to drive your roots in and really kind of it your own and feel at home, become one with the place you're in. And I think that does affect your ability to be to feel at home. You know, we're in a similar situation here. Like I owned my place in New Zealand before I moved here, but I owned that before I got together with my wife now. So it was my place. So she never felt completely at home there because that was

Melodie: 29:10

Yeah.

Daniel Rock: 29:11

always to her felt like my place here. because of like having just moved here and all the other things. And if you ever try and get a credit rating in America, you'll understand how difficult that process can be. Um, we don't know we rent at the moment and that, you know, we have a nice place to rent. It's a good place. Our daughter's here, but you don't, you don't have that connection with the place because you know, at some point, you know, we have a lease that runs till July of next year, we know that at that point they can just say, well, see you later. You know, even if you've

Melodie: 29:43

Yes,

Daniel Rock: 29:43

time, you don't have that permanence. And I think permanence. And I'm just touching what you said about emotion. Home is always going to be where you feel comfortable, where you feel safe, where the people around you make you feel comfortable and at

Melodie: 29:57

yes.

Daniel Rock: 29:58

But there is also kind of in my belief, you need to feel a little bit of sense of permanence. You know that I can, I am the master of my own destiny, right? I get to choose where I live, where I go, what I do. And I think when you're renting, sometimes that can, you can lose that because you know,

Melodie: 30:16

Yeah,

Daniel Rock: 30:17

always

Melodie: 30:17

yeah.

Daniel Rock: 30:18

at the whim of someone else.

Melodie: 30:20

Absolutely. Yes, I agree. I don't think I've ever really thought about it that way, but it's so true. Like, now that you say it, I'm like, yeah, that's probably why it doesn't feel as much as home. Um, but it's like, yeah, it's that sort of sense of like, oh, we could go any movement. So one. Part of it is freeing, because you're like, I could go any moment. If I don't like it, I could just go, whatever. But another part is also like, yeah, but what if, what if suddenly they changed their mind and they decided they want to sell the house or like, what do we leave? You know, what do you do? And there is a part like that. And it's like, um, yeah, it's definitely something that you sort of have in the back of your, of your head, um, a hundred percent.

Daniel Rock: 31:07

So the last kind of little topic I just wanted to talk about a little bit, and I like to ask this from expats a lot who move somewhere where there's no family. Um, because I think there's, you know, there's that, um, there's an old adage, right? That you can, you can choose your friends, but not your family. But I think that when you're an expat somewhere, you kind of do choose your family. Because you, that, those friendships become family. So really just to understand kind of how that's been for you. And is that something you've done? And this is really interesting one. I like to ask Kiwis as well a little bit. Is that, have you found friends that are expats that are people from similar place to you, if you kind of got lots of New Zealand friends, how, how have you built that sort of family network around yourself?

Melodie: 31:55

I guess when I started because I, I stayed with that friend, um, he sort of introduced me to a lot of other expats as well. So initially it was a lot of, um, there's a lot of French people, uh, which I was like, I don't want to be around French people. I want to be like practicing my English. Like I was like. Um, but like, yeah, it was great though, because, um, we would go and do like, I guess like the first year we did a lot of, um, exploring and stuff on the weekend and we were all like, Oh, we knew to the country, let's go everywhere. And it was great. Um, After that, I guess you get like friends at work. Um, so that was also a way of like meeting new people. I always end up, and I don't know if it's because it's Auckland and it's so multicultural, but like, I always end up with a lot of people from different countries. Um,

Daniel Rock: 32:48

Yeah.

Melodie: 32:58

people and different sort of workplace. Um, A lot of the people over the years, what I've noticed is they left. So there's also that whole wave of like, people will stay for a few years and eventually like this sort of go, um, so suddenly sort of lost touch with a few people or like make it a bit harder, but, um, Yeah, there's that. And then, um, when I met my partner, um, I met him at work actually. And it was like, um, I got to meet all his friends and, um, most of his friends, like he'd know them since, um, like school, like, like it's been years that they know each other. And, um, they really became like, um, like a family because they were, they're such a big group. And, um, I remember like when we had like, um, And things like that, like, you know, we'd have like Christmas together, which for me, I was like, I've never had Christmas with my friends back home. That was just not a thing we do. You just have Christmas with your family. So it was sort of a new thing for me. And I was like, Oh, I, I like this. This is nice. And, um, so that was lovely. And

Daniel Rock: 34:10

24

Melodie: 34:11

I met my partner and all that, when I had, um.

Daniel Rock: 34:13

24

Melodie: 34:14

flatmate, um, that I lived with for like a few years. And she really made me feel like,

Daniel Rock: 34:20

do

Melodie: 34:21

welcome and like part of it because like same, like we had like Christmas together, like with some of her other friends, like we were always like, yeah, like, uh,

Daniel Rock: 34:31

things that

Melodie: 34:32

like it felt like we were like, uh, like you said, like a family, like, um, her parents came to visit. I got to meet her parents. Like when my parents came over, we also go and like, you know, go for dinner and stuff, like it really felt that way. And, um, so I guess like, absolutely. Like you end up having the people around you, like become your family. Um, but at the same time, it's like, um, I still. I don't have like a friendship quite like the one that I have back home.

Daniel Rock: 35:07

Okay.

Melodie: 35:08

like, it's a different type of friendship, like, and, um, I guess we went through, through school and all the drama and stuff, like with my friends back home and it's like, we're more, probably more open, um, on certain things, but, um, I'd say it's different type of friendship.

Daniel Rock: 35:28

be

Melodie: 35:31

we're doing things that, yeah, I wouldn't have done with my friends back home as well. So it's like, yeah, I like it because I feel like it forced me also to do

Daniel Rock: 35:41

the

Melodie: 35:44

try, um, new things and to sort of, um, Yeah. To sort of appreciate even people even more, I think, um, because suddenly you're like, okay, I'm out there. I have to, you know, you have to, you're like, I'm going to meet people. I don't really know anyone. So it was really great that I had that friend initially, because let's be honest. I think if I was here on my own, I didn't know anyone. I probably would have been a bit shy and be like, Oh, I don't know how to meet anyone.

Daniel Rock: 36:11

hard when you don't have that. You know, I'm very lucky that I've moved here with my wife and she's got friends, family in New Zealand. I moved with a partner which made that easier. But it is a really difficult transition when you don't know many people and

Melodie: 36:22

Yes.

Daniel Rock: 36:23

I think as you get older because You

Melodie: 36:25

Oh my God, yes.

Daniel Rock: 36:26

as you get older, it becomes much, much harder to make friends because we don't, you know, you don't go out of bars that much anymore. You don't play as

Melodie: 36:33

He's like, where do you go?

Daniel Rock: 36:34

yeah. So like, you know, it's, it's, there isn't really that kind of opportunity that you get when you're, you know, in your teens or your early twenties, when you get to kind of do those things that kind of. Make new friends. And I think that's why you, those friendships you make early or in childhood become so important because they are

Melodie: 36:52

Yes.

Daniel Rock: 36:53

for a really long time. yeah, I think that's a really, really good point. Um, thank you so much for your time, Melody.

Melodie: 37:01

No, thank you.

Daniel Rock: 37:02

chat. It was really good. So you so much. Um, it's really very much appreciated. And to everyone else, thank you so much for

Melodie: 37:09

Okay.

Daniel Rock: 37:30

podcast would be

Melodie: 37:31

Okay.

Daniel Rock: 37:31

if

Melodie: 37:31

Um, you

Daniel Rock: 37:52

lay my hat dot com is my email address. So please reach out. And if you'd like to be on the show, we can have a conversation. So again, thank you for listening and I'll speak to you soon.